Advice I would tell my 20-25 year old self & young girls

If I could go back in time here’s what I would tell myself and I AM telling you girls (maybe boys too ;)) if you’ll “listen” …

Travel!!! If you want — as much as possible while it’s easy (no kids, no pets, etc.)Image 6-11-17 at 3.46 PM

“Trust your gut” your intuition — women have a very powerful sense of intuition, we’re “wired” that way, be in-tune with your inner being, it’s part of being female (certain times of the month are more powerful than others ;)) listen & look closely “take notes” even … trust me it’s there you just have to find it and when you do TRUST it!

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“Wear shorts & skirts” — while you can (but not the kind girls wear today with their butt cheeks hanging out, that leave absolutely NOTHING to the imagination!

“Dance” — as often as possible (while your feet can handle it :))

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“Have Quiet Time” — give yourself 30-60 minutes a day of no artificial noise —  Run, walk, yoga, meditate — I always had a dog so even before I started practicing yoga I would run or walk everyday no music, no phone — there weren’t even cell phones back then (because you know I’ll be 50 in 5 minutes)!
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“Read” — an actual book!  My parents taught be to always read before you go to sleep — ever since I was about 10 years old — I’ve gotten in bed with a book and sometimes I read 30 pages and sometimes only 3 but I never skip the bed time “ritual” and because of it I’ve read thousands of good books and I’m sure I have hundreds (if not thousands) more to go  — also remove your makeup and wash your face ;)!
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“Nap” — it’s good for you and doesn’t mean your lazy, there’s a reason so may cultures have “siesta” it’s a chance to recharge your batteries and get on with the day and hopefully be a more productive, enjoyable person afterwards :)).  If you have PMS or it’s that “time of the month” and you feel like going to bed at 8p — DO IT!!! Everyone will be better off because of it :)).

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“Breath”, “Count to Ten”, “Sleep On It” — I can be very “reactive” and sometimes it gets me into trouble so I try to remind myself to “take a deep breath, “count to ten”.  When it comes to big decisions my dad would always say “sleep on it” or if I’d ask him for something big he’d say “let ME sleep on it” and then I knew not to push it, it was his way of not “reacting” or “over-reacting” if he was mad or annoyed or whatever — which happens often as a parent, kids are constantly asking/demanding things and sometimes if I don’t “react” and instead say “let me think about it” or “sleep on it” then they actually forget that they asked me to let them get another ear piercing, or another pair of shoes (in addition to the 20 they already have) etc.  I also will type out a text or an email when I’m mad or annoyed but instead of sending it, I’ll save it and decide the next day if I want to hit “send”, usually I decide against it or at least to “tone it down” and everybody is better off for it — it’s good advice to tell your kids that when it comes to this world we live in where it’s so easy to respond to a text or snap chat or Instagram … immediately (especially when someone “pushes your buttons”) it’s not always a good thing, it may not actually be the message you were wanting to send and you might end up regretting it — so really think about it before you hit send, breath and count to ten! 😉

“Pay your bills — on time!” — my dad always told me from a young age to make sure you pay your bills on time & protect your credit score because it is so important because it SUCKS to have bad credit!  I’ve always followed his advice and I’ve never had any trouble getting a credit card, car loan, mortgage loan etc. and now I think most employers check your credit — your credit says a lot about who you are, if you can’t pay your bills on time or live within your means, you probably aren’t going to be a reliable employee.  I would NEVER hire someone with bad credit, unless they had a damn good excuse and even then …🙄🙄🙄

“Get dressed up”  — often because the older you get those opportunities will be far and few between (especially if you live somewhere like Boulder) again …


“If you have kids”  — have them before age 30 so that they are out of the house & don’t have to live with you while you’re going through menopause ;))

“Nice Guys” — don’t discount the nice guys — trust me there will come a day when you’ll want to be treated like a princess, and you won’t be annoyed by the guys who are “too nice”.  Honey you were one of the nice ones but not TOO nice ;)!

“Don’t stay out past midnight” — “nothing good happens after midnight”, for the most part – there are a few exceptions 😉 but again few and far between and past 30 or 40 years old you might want to round down to 10p (it’s midnight somewhere ;))!

“Do what you love” — Follow your passion — try hard to find work you love — and if you don’t then make sure you make time for the stuff you do love!  And if someone questions you “why would you want to do that?” it might be all the more reason to do it!!!

“Give thanks” — before you go to bed or during your “quiet time” think of at least 5 people & 5 things you are grateful for in your life.

“Laugh” — Surround yourself with people who make you laugh … a lot & often (and who like you enough to take you to or pick you up from the airport — at least every once in awhile).

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“Cry” — because sometimes it’s what you need to do, it’s ok to not even know why (we are female after all) so crawl into bed & watch your favorite sad movie & cry — you’ll feel better I promise (and if you don’t watch two ;))

“Love”  Love often & with abundance & love & be nice to your parents — they love you no matter what and I’m pretty sure for the most part they did their best!


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Published by shannbenn50

First a little bit about me ... I'm going to be 50 in about 5 minutes, I've been married for 20 years and have two incredibly great teenagers, (albeit incredibly moody). I am a Capricorn and I'd say 99% Capricorn. I do yoga everyday and my husband says "for someone who does ("practices" is the correct term FYI ; yoga everyday you're awfully high strung", my response is "can you imagine me if I didn't do yoga everyday"? and his response is "I'd be scared"! I've been told by a number of people that I need to lower my expectations of people because then I won't constantly be disappointed. My husband says he tries to have zero expectations and then sometimes he's pleasantly surprised. :) Which is really great advice and may work for him but I'm having a hard time with it, and I don't want to lower my expectations, I want people to rise to my expectations (someone said to me the other day "who died and made you God")? So I've been "practicing" this mantra "lower your expectations, be more forgiving and compassionate & understanding" it has maybe worked a tiny bit. And then I came across this quote while in the throes of being disappointed by others "There is no good way or bad way. And the sooner we let go of expectations about how things are supposed to go, the happier we get to be." Which I wrote down and put in my nightstand from a book I read called "The Divorce Party" by Laura Dave. So I texted my friend that quote, who also has high expectations of people and who is also constantly let down and I said "perhaps my mother is right, she told me I have really high expectations of myself and so I think everyone else should be the same and they're not, so the sooner I accept that the better". And my friend's response was? "Lies, all lies! Of course there is a good way and a bad way, the GOOD way is OUR way"! For better or for worse I have to say I agree! "What is wrong with people?" was going to be the title of my blog because I constantly find those words coming out of my mouth ... but this "blog" has morphed into something else because it turned out I actually have a lot of positive good things to say and share about people, I shocked myself, so therefore I changed the title and the direction of my "blog/website" ... my initial emoji I was going to use was 😩 But now the one I want to use is ❤️

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